More on Pranayama week

Class last night was really amazing particularly given how upset Geeta was the day before with our inability to do digital pranayama. She was so generous and charitable explaining all sorts of things about the digital hand position and the various digital pranayamas. She clearly took the position that we simply didn't know and she explained everything so clearly and gave so many reasons why we do things the way we do and at some point really even came very close to apologizing for losing her temper. She reflected on the dedication we need to have to practice and to god and talked about how we allow our mind to disturb ourselves so much more than the external things that might bother us... then at the very end of class, when it really seemed like things would not degenerate people messed up again and it was really almost heart breaking how sad it made her, she asked "what more am I to do?" was so sincere in wanting an answer and no one said anything. It wasn't really clear this was not a rhetorical question, but then she went on to say that our silence was because we identified with the student who made the mistake and she said she noticed that no one comes up to comfort her after class but several people do to the students who make the mistakes...Good point. When the pedagogical relationship becomes strained, I know that I want to talk about it with other teachers who will understand and sometimes I even want a reality check from students I trust who were in the class. ( I think this is even more the case for me in the philosophy classroom when I am struggling to articulate abstract concepts and am dealing in the world of ideas. Geeta's class last night really was much more of a lecture about the doing of pranayama and it really created this tangible link between my yoga learning and my philosophy learning. )

You do hear all these stories about the Iyengar's yelling and I don't have any experience with him teaching, but one thing that typically doesn't get conveyed in the stories about her "yelling" people, is just how clear it is that she wants to be understood and to transmit the knowledge and expertise and insight to others. She really wants us to know, to experience, to be good students of yoga. Her expression of the vulnerability of the teacher in that context was so honest and real. I don't know what I'd tell her to do any differently. She is just an amazing teacher, her clarity, her dedication, her presence of mind, generosity of spirit in dealing with our shortcomings as students.

Several people really did come up to her afterwords and ask well what should we do and she talked some more, I think she really doesn't get why people don't cut their nails, or read the book or listen or know how to pay attention. It was really pretty emotional all in all. To me the only solution I can think of is to be the best student I can be and to teach my students with whatever modicum of her dedication to the practice that I can muster.

Well on a lighter note, we had an amazing practice this morning, Christina really helped me get my chest more open in backbending and we did not have okra for lunch!!!!